Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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