is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
