the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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