About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
