So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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