i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
