I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
