I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
