need another drink. this is the easiest way
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
