those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
