Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
