Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
