the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
