that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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