Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
