I think I am morally bankrupt
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
