I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am available for nakedness
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
