Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
