Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
