you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
