she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
bring money and cleavage
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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