I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
