the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
