i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
