oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
