Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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