I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
