Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
