yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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