This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
