after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
