he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
