oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
