You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
