im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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