Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
nutella sex= disaster
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
