I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
