Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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