He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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