do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
