Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
