In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
