i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
