we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
