Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm both gender and math confused
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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