That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
