"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Another day, another engagement, another cat
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
