Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
