I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
