How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
