Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
