You're my little dorito
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
